I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district ...
Spellings have been left intact...
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.
3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.
5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.
12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.
16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.
17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.
18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.
19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.
23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever a n sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
English Gone Wrong 2
"Youth Oympic Games 100" should read "Youth Olympic Games 2010".
"Please do not park your motorcycle at the affected lots duing working hours." should read as "Please do not park your motorcycle at the affected lots during working hours." and "Sorry for the inconventence caused" should read as "Sorry for the inconvenience caused.".
The last line of "Pay particular attention if a child uses this product as fork has pointed tips." should read as "Pay particular attention if a child uses this product as the fork has pointed tips.".
"You wash in water by all means after having used it, and please keep it in cleanliness. When your skin is weak, you must not use this. When your skin has abnomalities, you must not use this. When your skin tanned, you must not use this. Because you injure your skin, you must not use with strong power. When your skin becomes itchy and blushes with this and swelled up, you must not use this. and you should go to the hospital immediately. Keep out of reach of children. Please do not use it besides an original use. Please follow a rule and dispose of the garbage. Please read before use by all means. And please keep this." should all read as
"Please wash it after use to maintain its cleanliness. Not suitable for those with sensitive skin, skin problems or after tanning. Do not apply too much force when using this. If skin irritations or swelling occurs, please stop the use of it and see a doctor immediately. Please dispose this in a bin. Please do not use it in any other ways other than its intended use. Please keep the packaging."
"Pork Rid Rice" should read as "Pork Rib Rice".
"Back by Polular Demand" should read as "Back by Popular Demand".
"Sory for any inconveniences." should read as "Sorry for any inconveniences caused."
This was found in a toilet. What does it mean "to check the property values before leaving the room every time"? Surely they meant "Please ensure that you have not forgotten your belonging/s.".
"Specail design..." should read "Special design..."
"Scraf" should read as "Scarf"
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